Eckhart Tolle’s thoughts on the Ego. This is a good reminder to carry into our daily lives:
The Ego’s patterns dissolve when you don’t oppose them internally. Opposition gives them renewed strength. You can then accept family’s behavior with compassion, without needing to react to it, and without personalizing it.
Be also aware of your unconscious assumptions or expectations that lie behind your old habitual reactions to them. The more shared past in a relationship, the more present you need to be, otherwise you will be forced to relive the past again and again.